Martin and I were literally about to leave on a trip to Alaska when my friend Erica quipped, “I hope you didn’t rent a dry cabin! You’d be in for an unpleasant surprise!”
As we boarded the plane, I was still laughing at the thought of some hapless renter’s honest but disastrous mistake. And that was it. This poem just wrote itself.
In case you were concerned: We stayed in very nice cabins, thank you.
My Nice Dry Cabin
For vacation in Alaska, I would treat myself and rent
A comfy upscale cabin – not for me a saggy tent!
I’m older – done with hardship! I’d vacation there in ease
With a sparkling bath and kitchen, and complete amenities!
By day I’d hike for miles and miles, I’d make those mountains mine!
At night I’d take a steaming bath and sip some chilled white wine.
I’d cook a fancy dinner and enjoy a crackling fire,
Then at an early hour, to my feather bed, retire.
So I checked out cabin rentals, and the ad that caught my eye
Was the one that said their cabin was “one-hundred per-cent dry.”
Of course I want my cabin dry! Who wants a leaky one?
Would staying in a cabin full of dripping drops be fun?
No leaky roof, no ceiling drips, no cold and damp for me;
“Dry cabins” must be extra-nice – they have a guarantee!
For a small but sumptuous cabin, I would gladly pay a heap;
So imagine my surprised delight – this one was super cheap!
I booked my nice dry cabin – I was thrilled with what I’d found! –
But I felt my smile falter when I got there, looked around.
“It doesn’t look as fancy as I thought it’d be,” I think.
A jug atop a bucket seemed to be my kitchen sink!
I searched for gleaming bathrooms and my apprehension grew.
That wonky wooden shack outside? Dear God, that thing’s the loo!
I learned a crucial lesson; I was taught it thoroughly
As I stumbled to the outhouse every time I had to pee;
As I schlepped those heavy buckets full of water in and out;
As I dreamed of steamy water gushing from a bathtub spout.
So spare yourself the lesson! Know beforehand what you ought’r:
“Dry cabin” doesn’t mean “leak-free.”
It means no running water!